I write this from a dark place, so I should preface it with this: It was a good trip. I'm not in a good place right now. And thus, I doubt I can truly relay the experience but I need to distract myself.Last year Vince met a group of people he studies trading methods with. They had a conference in St. Louis, and I didn't go because, well, honestly what could I really get out of it? And it's expensive as hell.But when he got back he insisted I come to the next one. He said the people he met were Continue Reading

He’s my life,…

Every breath he takes is a breath for me. Every moment he's awake is a moment I'm more alive. I cannot and will not live without him. He is my life. The thought of being without him scares me so badly,... my hands go numb, my breath stops, I get dizzy. I cannot be without him. I REFUSE to be on this Earth without him.I love his heart because it beats life into him. I love his lungs because they provide him oxygen. I love his veins, his bones, his skin, his hair. I love everything that makes it Continue Reading

This one too

Probably my second favorite scene from Waking Life(Two women are having lunch) Time just dissolves. It's like these particles are swirling away. Either I'm living fast, or time is, but never both simultaneously. It's such a strange paradox. I mean, while technically I'm closer to the end of my life than I've ever been, I actually feel more than ever that I have all the time in the world. When I was younger, there was a desperation, a desire for certainty, like there was an end to the path and I Continue Reading


My favorite scene from one of my favorite movies: Waking LifeCreation seems to come out of imperfection. It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration, and this is where I think language came from. It came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another. And it had to be easy when it was just simple survival. Like the word water, we came up with a sound for that, or saber tooth tiger right behind you, we came up with a sound for that. But when Continue Reading

Forgiveness – In the end, it’s within YOU.

Inspired by Rabbi Irwin Kula's [life changing] book "Yearnings - Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life"Forgiveness is something I need to be better at. And when I bought Yearnings it was probably the last thing on my mind.With that said - by the time I got to chapter on Love, specifically the subsection on Forgiveness, I was in desperate need of the words it held. In fact the entire chapter made such an impact that I've been mulling over how to write this post without re-typing the whole thing Continue Reading

And I can say “I remember them when…”

I remember the look in her eyes when she first confessed to me how much she loved spending time with him,...I remember how much time they spent together, just talking and trading stories...I remember how much fun we had hanging out together, because they truly became best friends...And I remember how dedicated they were when they had to do a long distance relationship.So to my Vicki and Mike, I say: I remember always knowing you were perfect for one another and congratulations. I love you Continue Reading