I’m sitting here on a Thursday night plucking away at little details in wedding planning by acknowledging that I need to look deeper ceremony styles, writing down the names of DJ’s in Asheville, trying to wrap my head around our guest list while casually flipping through stationary on Etsy, when I got to flowers.
This is NOT the first time I’ve thought of flowers. I know we want our colors to match the Tanzanite engagement ring on my left hand, so we want to focus on dark purple and dark blue flowers, lightened by cream and white colors.
However, this is the first time I googled “dark purple flowers” because I truly don’t know any names of any flowers that come in dark purple and blue. And thus, this is the first time it has hit me that I’m planning a wedding without my Grandma Karen.
I mean REALLY hit me. As in, I’m sitting here with my heart breaking. Vince just came running in to see why he heard muffled sobs. Complete meltdown.
So why would flowers cause this? Where do I even begin…?
My Grandma was a trained florist. Not because she was planning on being a florist – she was actually an elementary school teacher her whole life.
She was a trained florist because she loved flowers – well, actually she loved anything really pretty and feminine. She was even in the Garden Society in Tallahassee, specifically the Jonquil Garden Circle.
When I was going through her things I found an article that was run in the local newspaper about her. In the 60’s my Grandma and her mom, my Mema, did all the flower arrangements for the Florida Governor’s Inaugural Ball.
She also did the flowers for my mom’s wedding.
I remember a couple of nights before she died, we had “the talk” where she acknowledged she was dying and I begged her to not go. I asked her that night “Grandma how will I get married without you?”
She said that I wouldn’t because she would always be with me. And if I needed anything all I had to do was look up and ask and she’d find a way to answer me.
I can’t believe she’s never met Vince. I can’t believe Vince never met her. I don’t know how I”m going to plan a wedding without her. She would know EXACTLY which flowers to go with, and would have already called me with suggestions.
And if she were here today, she would be SO happy to be helping me. And everything would be perfect.
I don’t have a way to end this post other than to say that I miss her as much now as I did 7 years ago. I love you Grandma…..